[2004-09-25]_2:35 a.m.
-
all the alcohol
tonight
has put me in bad spirits
that I am nothing more
than another drone letting the world eat me
that nothing I have done has been an impact
that love is not on my agenda
only ruin
building a city
to see it fall
smoke rings
why do I feel
when I don't feel
anymore
these days
nameless
as they have become
I wish I could love
someone
myself
but I'm failing so dreadfully
that sometimes
I wonder
I could always be replaced so easily
and not just alcohol speaking
50% alcohol by volume
my life has reached its peak
3 years ago
when I still cared
when I still had my spirit
when something mattered
but now
I have reached a road block
a dead end
and I don't fancy going all the way back
back to the point of another choice
cause I came this way
just because
and I will die at this point
and you will find me
with god in my mouth
and nothing in my eyes
the way I used to be
the way I will be
trying so desperatley to fill
this now with a spirit from a bottle
and not my own
that I may cry tonight
not becasue I'm sad
but rather because I have failed
none but
myself
R.I.P. roberta a. I never let go of hope for you. and I know that you know this. she passed yesterday. and it was dreadful really. and all I could do was
stare and wait
for her to show them
that they shouldn't have unplugged her
but she never came
and I was left
staring at an empty body
with an open mouth
saying I love you
no past tense here
it is now and always
cause I never gave up
like everyone else
I never gave up.