[2005-04-10]_10:41 p.m.
exigence
I know not
what I have become
a seeker
of sorts
to my own demise
I cannnot seem to let be
that which has happened
the past
for there's sometthing there
be it a pain I love so dearly
or perhaps
what I've searched
has proven unrurly
either scenario
I cannot search
that raw emotion
with the such
at my disposal
for I know
that the truth will set me free
but denial of the such
is too glorious to defy
I wish upon black stars
vehemently
that things were not the same
as they appear
but the prose of my mind
knows what my heart can never understand
...
it will never be the same
...
as for the others
they can never add up to a total
of high expectations
based on the experience of another.
I write this
inebriated as such
so that I do not fear
unyielding eyes
trying to decipher the code
of my innards
many are the stars I see
but none shine as bright as thee
I am off
to sleepy land
equal to the alcohol
in distraction
yet more denied.
to you all who try
godspeed
and good luck
for it takes a lot
of exigence
to see what my heart
encloses.