[2005-11-28]_3:16 p.m.
egg nog
its this time of year
again
repeating with
more a sense of urgency every year
coming soon
leaving later
this endless cycle of holiday
and how it makes me suffocate internally
makes me feel what i hold back
the rest of the year so well
allows you too see it in my eyes
for a short while
and makes me wonder
stare upwards
and question where i have traveled
why i have come to this point
for this short while
i will anticipate
and hope
for so much
dream the life together
start to finish
finish to the end
every accomplishment
every downfall
the look you hold when i bring you flowers home
when dinner is waiting for you with a candle gently illuminating
when someone is lost most dear
its these times
when the cold air on my chapped lips
makes me layer on the lip balm
when a jacket and a sweater are not enough defense
when you wish you had not cut the fingers off your gloves
its these times
that make me feel most alone
one step past
what ever comes after that
thats where i am right now
and i cannot seem to stop
licking my lips
holding my breath
serving my heart on a plate
and my lips
will not
stop cracking