[2004-12-10]_10:39 a.m.
holidays
I just wanna know
how I got the short straw
the one that
makes it so hard to get out of bed
everyday
and face the chilly winds
and hiding sun
how I was selected at random to endure
all that I have
and have little motivation
how I was a random search
every single time
I flew.
how it feels to be
of such impropriety
waking up each day
with such temporarity
searching deep in that cave
digging away
deeper
deeper
how you can wake up each day
and respect yourself
still standing behind the starting line
someone else's life
someone else's dream
and not your own
now or ever.
I just want to know how its done
and how one can sleep with all this
on their back.
I could never be of the such.
and that is my motivation.
a picture of me
is a reminder
of all the odds going against
my current
of what I have survived
of not exactly where I want to be,
but there's no strings for me
"it is better to live on your feet
than to die on your knees"