[2004-12-10]_10:41 a.m.
thought process
a theme is abundant in my life
the nights not spent at home
the laundry pile growing with enormous proportions
everyday
why I even have a place titled
home
but not felt to that description
I've been stolen away
from the rest of the world
from all I knew
for over two sets of
365 days
it just doesn't seem
like that time has been deducted
from my total
that closer to expiration
perhaps I am a robot
that I once thought
for that brief second
because I really
don't know
how I've managed to last this long
when everyday is a war
searching for my own weapons of mental destruction
I simply cannot be myself
here
anymore
I cannot force myself out of that couchbed one more day
and paint on that smile
cause you can see the lines
the outline of my mask
and I can't bear hiding it
deep below my epidermis
any longer...