[2010-09-09]_9:59 p.m.
the glass harp
i have recently
been experiencing this state of mind
this blankness
that i cannot name
that i cannot describe
it feels like
the last night in a house before you move
a hot beverage going cold
saying good bye to a good friend
smoking your "last" cigarette for the 8th time
your ten year high school reunion
inexplicable really
in a way
i suppose
i feel alone
but this time
different
i have released so much of my past this year
said my good byes to old friends
and old habits
things that i held as inherent truths
tried my best to change
for the better
but
it leaves me with a sense
that i have left myself
lost my definitions
forgot my past
it is definitely not good
but i would not say it is bad either
its just one of those things
that happens as you get older
that makes you doubt yourself
it makes me doubt myself
things are good, right?
sometimes,
i find it hard to decipher.