[2004-01-18]_10:16 p.m.
another day another buck
today was so long
it felt like those days
of high school
in your last class of the day
never ending
waiting to hear that bell ring
but the room
being filled with rude people
few speaking english
and 10,00 kids
tearing apart your backpack
and pulling out everything
and throwing it out on the floor
and jumping on it
thats how today felt
ive had worse days
(***********************)
i dont think i am content with my life
right now
it doesnt feel right
like something out of place
and i have no idea how to change
this feeling
smothering my heart
squelching my breath
god grant me strength
to change myself
and leave my comfort zone
in which ihave become so well accustomed.
********************
we went to el toritos tonight
i hope they had fun
the atmosphere was down
and our expectations were up
a recipe for disaster
but its over now
and i have to work in 10 hours
work work work
i need a break
or i might go mad
like some others ive known
and never knew why
but today
i knew damn well why
i felt them scratching at their cages
and saw their eyes in my mind
calling me to join
their ranks
behind cold steel
amongst the damned
never cured
only sedated.
***************
how are you?
really
i dont feel like ive actually had a real conversation with you for a while
and im sorry
that it cant be easier.
ciao 3