[2004-01-14]_12:15 a.m.
small times
im in a present stae of mind
one that has no description
other than
the middle place
where most my life rests
a wallflower life
watching others pass
and succeed or fail
helping them up
or tripping them down
then retreating my my spot
up high
far away
so i dont get rubbed with their
disease
i feel like hiding in my sheets
though i dont have any
and even if i did,
my couchbed will not support them
the way i would like them to be
each day
i feel more irritated
like a rash spreading on my body
or a mosquito bite on my face
so nice
that itch
that doesnt go away
and cannot be ignored
that itch
not cured or relieved in any way
i would i was someone else this year.
some time off from being me is well needed.
to collect my emotions
for theyve spilled out all over my floor, and sucken beneath the rug
where cleanliness is a luxury
and breathing is only as necessary.